You Do Not Get To Choose

I’ve received some hard news.  I have breast cancer.  It’s taken me some days to be able to say or write those words.   But there they are.  Breast Cancer.  Wow.

After a routine mammogram a couple of weeks ago, I was called back for more imaging, then called back for a biopsy last week.  The biopsy results came this week and I’ve been trying to live with the idea of it.   We are in Newport Beach, on a little getaway.  It calms my heart to look out and see the ocean and to walk along the beach while my mind repeats over and over and over again, “I Have Breast Cancer.”

We had planned to submit our mission papers again this week, the mammogram was the last of the medical appointments I had to complete.  This changes everything.  I think we’ll be staying home a bit longer than we expected to.

For now, I mostly want to sit and stare out at the ocean and not think about the beast in my breast or what it might do to me.

About Ann Laemmlen Lewis

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