Please don’t make me go in there!

iPhone 5

I had to spend about 2 hours this evening in a Verizon phone store.  I would almost rather throw up than go into a phone store.  It’s a very unsettling feeling to go into a place where every item on display is beyond my level of comprehension and understanding.  I do not feel comfortable there.  The very kind fellow who helped us did every transaction on some sort of techno-pad.  There were no cash registers.  It was all way too techy for me.  My kids LOVE going to phone stores.  It’s a kind of paradise for them.

We had to retire Claire’s broken (shattered screen) phone, give her my free upgrade that is no longer free and pay way more for a new iPhone for her.  Then we had to move Aaron’s phone stuff out of his phone and give his to me (I will need to learn how to do things all over again).  Then my phone (that used to be Aaron’s) had to be emptied so we can give it to Heidi’s little brother.  Then Heidi got moved to our family plan because her family is too large to fit all of them into one plan.  And then we had to figure out who was most likely to need phone insurance (Claire) who’s phone is an extension of her every move.

It was excruciating.  The nice fellow helping us did his best when my eyes glazed over.  I found myself daydreaming about the good old days when I was a teenager and phones were attached to the wall with a curly cord, and if you had a question, you called the Operator, not some voice mystical entity named Siri.  When you got lost, you stopped at a gas station to ask for directions.  When you needed a phone number, you stopped at a phone booth to look in a phone book, and you put a dime in the pay phone to call home if you were out past curfew.

I think I could learn to use these new-fangled devices they call iPhones if I felt sure that once I learned, I’d be set for a few years, or more.  That’s the problem.  I keep feeling like the rug is being pulled out from under me every time I have to change phones because someone else in the family needs to use a different phone.  They make me change too.

Tonight I was really missing that Operator, who was a real lady who lived in a real house somewhere in my hometown.  She was a sure thing.  She knew the time of day.  She could look up phone numbers, or tell us when places closed.  She made our lives easy and good.  Phones today frighten me.  They are full of so many strange things I don’t understand.  I hope I can make sense of this new world we are being thrust into.

About Ann Laemmlen Lewis

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