Ann's Words

On Honoring Our Mothers by Becky Hemsley

Posted on May 9, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

When I was little, I thought my mother’s words were just words.

They were the background hum of the house.
Shoes off at the door. Say thank you properly. You’ll understand when you’re older.

I didn’t know she was handing me a compass.

Back then, I thought she was simply steering the day – turning us left towards school on time, right towards clean pyjamas, straight ahead through arguments about vegetables and bedtimes. I thought she was captaining a small, ordinary boat called “family,” and I was just a passenger, swinging my legs over the side, trailing my fingers in the water.

I didn’t see the charts she was drawing.

She plotted invisible lines across our kitchen table:
This is how you apologise. This is how you keep going when you’re tired. This is how you love someone even when you’re cross.

She never called them lessons. She just lived them.
And I watched, without knowing I was watching.

I watched how she steadied her voice when she was overwhelmed. How she made room at the table for one more. How she swallowed sharp words and chose softer ones instead. How she carried worry like an anchor – heavy, necessary, unseen by us.

I thought she just knew how to do these things.
I didn’t realise she was teaching me how to read the weather.

It’s only now, standing in my own kitchen with small faces tilted up at me, that I feel the wheel in my hands. Only now, when the sea turns choppy – when there are slammed doors and tears and questions I don’t feel ready to answer – do I hear her voice rise in me like a lighthouse cutting through fog. Be calm. Try again. You’re their safe place.

And suddenly I recognise the route.

The way she would pause before reacting.
The way she would sit on the edge of my bed and smooth my hair, even when she was exhausted. The way she made hard things feel survivable simply by being there.
I find myself saying her sentences. Using her tone. Repeating her reassurances almost word for word.

I used to think strength was loud, that leadership was grand and obvious.
But she showed me it is often quiet: a steady hand on the helm, adjusting by inches, keeping the boat from drifting too far off course.

There are days I feel lost. Days when I am certain I am failing. Days when the map seems smudged and the horizon unclear.

On those days, I realise just how carefully she prepared me.
Not with lectures, but with living. Not with speeches, but with example.

She let me see her mend what was broken. She let me see her apologise when she got it wrong. She let me see that love is not a straight line but a series of gentle corrections. And now, when my children watch me – though they don’t know they are watching – I understand the weight and wonder of that.

They are learning the tides from me.
They are measuring their own voices against mine.
They are storing away my reactions, my patience, my impatience too.

One day, they will stand on their own two feet. They will feel the wheel beneath their fingers and realise that the course was set long ago, in small moments they barely noticed. And perhaps they will understand me in the way I now understand her.

Not as perfect or unshakeable.
But as someone who loved fiercely enough to learn the sea. As someone who stayed up late plotting safer routes. As someone who pretended not to be afraid so that we could be brave.

The compass was always there, pressed quietly into my palm when we crossed the road hand-in-hand. The maps were folded into everyday conversations.
The lighthouse was built from ordinary routines.

And here I am, years later, sailing waters she once sailed, whispering thank you into the wind.

Because I finally understand how much she gave me
when she was simply being my mother.

*****

One of the longest poems I’ve written, but someone recently asked me to write a poem about only truly realising how much her mum had done for her now that she was a mother. Of course, this can apply to anyone who raised us, but it seemed fitting to share this a few days before Mothers’ Day here in the UK.

Becky Hemsley 2026
Stunning artwork by Fanitsa Petrou

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Grandma Elsa Schaefer Laemmlen’s Cookbook and Recipes

Posted on May 3, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned finding my Grandma’s Pickled Figs recipe and how happy that made me. I did not mention that another treasure I found in that box from my Dad was my Grandma Elsa’s 1928 German cookbook. Inside the cookbook were all of her favorite recipes written on slips of paper and collected over the years. My grandparents came to America in 1929 on their honeymoon trip. My dad was born 9 months later in California. I grew up next door to Grandma Elsa. I loved her German food. Now I have her recipes. I have been working on translating them into English for my cousins. I’m thrilled to have them and to taste her food again.

Here is Elsa Shcaefer’s cookbook, covered in fabric she cross stitched her initials into. Grandma was born in 1895. She would have been 33 years old when she bought this cookbook to take with her to America.

Below are recipes that were on slips of paper inside the front cover of the cookbook. I’ve done my best to translate them for future generations.

This first recipe is for Springerle. Grandma made these cookies every year at Christmas time. She kept them for weeks in tins and they were as hard as rock! We would gnaw on them. She would dunk them in her tea. I loved them. There were anis seeds stuck to the bottom of the cookies (she scattered the seeds on the cookie sheet). She pressed the patterns with old worn wooded forms that had designs on them.

Springerle
4 eggs
2 c. sugar
4 lb. flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
Anis seeds

Beat eggs with 1 cup of sugar. Beat egg yolks with 1 cup sugar. Then combine and add flour and the rest. [Sprinkle the anis seeds on the cookie sheet under the cookies.]
Bake at 300 degrees for 10 minutes. (Recipe from Mrs. Detweiler.)

Below is a Springele recipe from Tante Mina, Grandma’s sister:

This recipe for Springele is hard to read. It talks about pressing the dough into a form, then leaving it overnight.

The second recipe is for Schweizer Rüchlein (little Swiss backs??)
It has 1 M. flour, 8 eggs, lemon peel, butter, feinly chopped almonds. The recipe doesn’t seem complete.

Pfeffernusse was another family favorite. Peppernuts. The Mennonite community in Reedley where I grew up was known for making Pfeffernusse during the holidays. The ladies had competitions to see who could make the smallest ones. Grandma made hers about an inch big, like the circle on the recipe below. She put colored sprinkles on them. They were so good.

Pfeffernüsse
1 c. sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 c. light corn syrup
1/2 c. molasses
1/3 c. water
a little salt
6 2/3 c. flour
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. allspice
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. soda
2 tsp. anise seed
? ( ” oil)

Mix well, chill, roll into long slender rolls 1/2″ in diameter, chill.
Cut into pieces [about the size of a quarter]
Bake 375
Recipe from Mrs. D. C. Krehbiel 1959 [She was my piano teacher!]

The post below has another Pfeffernusse recipe used in our Laemmlen family:

Comfort Foods: Tapioca Pudding and Pfeffernüße

Below are more Pfeffernüsse recipes from the cookbook:

We lived in the heart of the San Joaquin Valley, the Fruit Basket of the World. My Grandpa and my Dad were SunMaid raisin growers. We ate a lot of raisins!

Raisin Chess Pie
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup sugar
1 teasp vinegar
3 eggs
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup chopped raisins

Cream butter, sugar & salt. Add eggs, one at a time. Blend in walnuts, raisins & vinegar. Turn into pastry lined pie pan. Bake at 425 for 10 min. Reduce heat to 325 for 35 min. more.
Recipe from Lois Philips, Catharine Suderman

Every New Year’s we had special German Donuts called Neu Jahr Kuchen. Here is Grandma Elsa’s recipe.

New Year Kuchen
1 1/2 cup water or milk
1 yeast
(+ lemon peel)
2 cups flour

Mix and let rise
2 cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup butter
4 eggs
1/2 cup milk
3 cups floured raisins
Mix the [first] part with this to have a nice smooth dough, let stand an hour or till well raised.

[Drop by spoonfulls into hot oil, fry, roll in granulated sugar.]

Here is the recipe my Mom used that I now use:

Neu Jahr Kuchen — Happy New Year 2022!

Anise Cookies
1 pound sugar
8 eggs
1 teaspoon lemon peel
2 teaspoons anis
1 pound flour

Mix together. Make the dough into small cookies. Put on a floured pan. Let them dry until you can scoot them with your fingers. Bake slowly at 300.
Recipe from Marie Strokmeier

This next one is for Corn Bread.

Corn bread
3/4 cup flour
1 cup cornmeal
1 cup milk
1 spoon baking powder
1 spoon salt
1 egg
soft butter

This recipe is for Chacolad Cookies (Chocolate Chip)

Chacolad Cookies
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 teasp vanilla
2 eggs
1 teasp soda
1 teasp salt
2 1/2 cups flour
2 cups chacolad [chocolate]chips
1 cup chopt nuts

Here is another version of the Candied Figs Grandma made. I remember eating these. They were sweet and chewy. This recipe is in my Grandma Ruby’s handwriting:

Candied Figs
5 pounds of figs (23-25 med)
sprinkle 2 tbl of soda over & cover with boiling water
let stand 5 min, drain and wash well
Put figs in syrup made of
3 cups sugar
1/3 cup white Karo
1 1/4 cup water
slice 1 orange, 1 lemon in first cook

1 hour 1st day covered
1 hour 2nd day uncovered
1 hour 3rd day uncovered
Place figs to drain on racks
dry in doors or out until not sticky
pack separated by wax paper, cans
This recipe is from Ruby Smuin (Grace’s mother)

Here we have a recipe for Marbled Pudding Cake:

Marbled Pudding Cake
4 eggs well beaten
1 cup sour cream
1 cube soft margerine
1 package yellow cake mix
13 3/4 or 3 5/8 ounce package instant lemon pudding
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teasp nutmeg
1 teasp cinnamon
1 cup finely chopped walnuts

Beat eggs, add sour cream, margarine, cake & pudding mix. Beat 10 min. Oil a 10 inch bake pan. Combine brown sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon & nuts.
Pour half of first mixture into pan. Add half of sugar & spice mixture sprinkling over top. Pour remainder of cake mixture over sugar & spice, then top with remainder of sugar & spice mix. Insert knife through batter to marbleized effect. Bake at 350 for 1 hour. Cool on cake rack.

Flaky Pie Crust:

Pie Crust Flakey Pastry
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
salt
1/2 cup shortening
yolk of one egg
Beat & add 4 tablespoons water

Pumpkin and Lemon Pies:

Pumpkin Pie
1/2 peint pumpkin (pint can?)
1/2 peint milk (pint can?)
1/2 cup sugar, 2 eggs, pinch of salt
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon, some nutmeg
1 tablespoon butter

Lemon Pie
1 cup water
2 tablespoons corn syrup
sugar, 2 eggs
[not complete]

Cinnamon Star and Anis Cookies:

Cinnamon Stars
1/2 cup?? some kind of sugar
1/2 cup?? finely ground almonds
2 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon, then mix with 3 eggs, sugar and the zest of a lemon?
? half an hour mix, then roll in the almonds ??

Anis Cookies
(not complete)

Lebkuchen was another of my favorite holiday treats in Grandma’s kitchen. These were made in a sheep pan like a bar cookie. They had candied fruit, nuts and raisins in them. Grandma made a very thin icing glaze to put over the top.

Honey Cake Lebkuchen
4 ? honey
1 pint water (make warm)
8 ounces of sugar
8 ounces margarine
1 ? orange zest
1 ? ground almonds
6 eggs (a little salt)
4 ounces cloves
5 1/2 ? flour
Roll out 1/2 inch thick.
Bake 350 degrees
Oct 15, 1964 Mrs. G. Müller

Below is the recipe for Honey Lebkuchen from the cookbook:

Spaetzle is another favorite German side dish, not unlike small noodles. The dough is dropped into boiling water to cook.

Sauerkraut was another common side dish in Grandma’s kitchen.

Pepper Relish from Mrs. Regier:

This next recipe is for Gugelhupf or Bundt Cake:

Bundt Cake
2 lb. flour
3/4 lb. butter
1/2 lb. sugar
6-8 eggs
2 packets of yeast
salt
milk
raisins
nuts
lemon peel

This makes 2 pans of Gugelhopf.
Bake 2 hour at 350.

Below is another recipe for Kugelhapfen (Bundt Cake)

Ingredients
1 lb. flour (500 grams) or 3 cups
200 gm sugar or 1/2 cup
1 T. baking powder or 3 teaspoons
1 Vanilla
1/4 lb butter or margarine
1 cup milk
4 eggs
Bake at 350 or 375 for 1 hour.

The cookbook has other bundt cake recipes:

Snitz Brot is a dense fruitcake filled with dried fruits.

Stollen is a fruit bread, one of my very favorite Christmas foods.

Snitz Brot
1 1/2 c. sieved flour
2 pkts yeast
mix with prune juice and let rise
add more flour, sieved or make ? . nutmeg, salt, shortening and all the fruit you can work in to it.

Stollen
4 lb. flour
1 lb. butter
2 lbs. raisins
3/4 lb. sugar
1 lemon peel (zested)
1 pkg candied fruit
1 cup almonds
1 Tbsp. salt
3/4 qts. milk
2-3 pkt. yeast

Here are more Stollen Recipes:

Here’s one more recipe I need to include. This one is in my Dad’s handwriting. I make this persimmon fruit bread every time I can get my hands on some persimmons. I LOVE it:

In case you want to know how to skin a rabbit. My Dad was an expert at this:

Grandma’s Soap recipe:

It’s amazing how many memories and taste memories these little slips of paper brought back to me! I was lucky to grow up next door to Grandma Elsa. I was in her kitchen helping her bake most Saturday mornings in my growing up years. Her kitchen always smelled heavenly.

Below are some pictures of Grandma’s kitchen. The baked goods filled the table and lined the counter to the left of the refrigerator.

On the right is the wood burning stove that kept the kitchen warm all winter.

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A Letter from my Grandma Ruby to my Grandma Elsa, 1954

Posted on April 24, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

This week, I went through a box my Dad sent me years ago, filled with things from his parents after they died. I hadn’t really inspected everything in that box (there were a lot of German books), I had just tucked it away, waiting until I had time to look at it.

Had I known what treasures I’d find there, I would have looked through it years ago. I found a large manila envelope filled with old letters. I will share with you one of those letters. It was written by my mother’s mother, Ruby, to my father’s mother, Elsa on Wednesday, 18 August 1954. Ruby lived in San Gabriel, CA. She died 6 weeks after I was born in 1959, so I have no memories of her. I grew up in central CA, on a fruit farm next to Grandma Elsa and I loved her all my life. She lived to be 93. We had a couple of fig trees on our farms.

Here is Ruby’s letter:

Dear Elsa–

I forgot to send the fig receipie. I usually make the boiled raisens cake from the syrup left over from the candied figs–instead of the water & sugar I just use the syrup.

We are having wonderful cool weather.

Hope you are all well and everything is fine and dandy.

We had such a grand visit at your home–and still enjoying all the goodies you sent home with us–all that grape juice & such good butter–oh we are rich–

Best love to you all

Ruby

Enclosed was this recipe for Pickled Figs:

Pickled Figs

3 qts of figs
½ cup salt–boiling water to cover
soak 10 min wash & drain

Boil
6 cups sugar
1 cup water
1 cup vinegar
2 sticks whole cinnamon
1 ½ tsp whole cloves–cook to syrup

Boil figs 10 min first day
“ ” 10 min 2nd day
“ ” 10 min 3rd day

Place whole figs in jars & pour syrup over them–place in cold water. Boil 20 min uncovered, seal.
———-
Holding that letter and reading Ruby’s words just warmed my heart! Both Grandmas in one place! I wish I could have known Grandma Ruby! I love how she spelled things and said it was a “grand” visit. I love that she said “fine and dandy” and the expression “oh we are rich!” It’s interesting how her voice can be heard in so few words. Her voice! A voice I never knew. Until now, I only had one page written in Ruby’s hand. Now I have two.

I also love how Grandma Elsa tore off the stamp to add it to her stamp collection!

Discoveries like this tell me how important it is to leave our voices, our words, behind. Your voice is precious and unique, and those who come after you will want to hear it. Your journal and your letters and emails will be a gift to your descendants. Let them hear your voice! Don’t leave them wanting!

This colorized photo of my Laemmlen and Smuin grandparents was taken on 26 June 1954 at my parents’ wedding, a few weeks before the fig recipe was sent.

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Dinner in Morgan with the Conlins and Mission Friends

Posted on April 24, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

This evening we drove up to Morgan, about 1.5 hours north of here to have dinner with a small group of very dear Frankfurt Mission friends at the Conlin’s home. These people are dear to me and I don’t want to forget them: The Garbers, the Romneys, the Conlins and the Smiths. We all served together and loved good friendship in our work and in our travels through Europe.

The Conlins are returning to Frankfurt for the 3rd time this summer. They’ll stay another year, helping the Area Presidency there. We will miss them here. They are consecrated, good hearted folks and we love them. We wish them well!

Here’s the recipe for a Really Good dessert we took to our German meal:

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Art Laemmlen’s Baby Teeth and Splinter

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

Here are my Dad’s baby teeth. Because they’ve been kept this long, I figured I should capture a photo of them. He was born in 1930. The splinter was something he stepped on as a little boy. It went all the way into his little foot. He still remembered that story and told it to me when he was in his 80s!

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Nigerian Bread Labels and Bumperstickers

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

Here are a few things I saved from the years I lived in Nigeria (1984-1987). Above are bread labels from the different bakeries we visited. Below are some fun bumper stickers and candle labels. We did not have electricity or running water where I lived. At night we worked and read by candlelight.

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Some Random Artwork from my Childhood

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

My Mom was a school teacher. She kept ALL of my school work. Every math test, every spelling test. Every drawing. Every project. Every memorized poem. Here are a few I photographed just for the memory of them.

As I read this poem, I realized the word are still in my memory! That was a fun walk through some old memories!

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Mr. Scrooge Finds Christmas, a 6th Grade Play

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

In the 6th grade, my teacher, Mr. Emery Huebert introduced us to Mr. Scrooge. It was the one and only time I was in a school play (other than playing Mary in a Windsor School Nativity when I was in 2nd grade). This Scrooge was a serious production. I was given the part of Mrs. Cratchet, Tiny Tim’s mother. Below, underlined in red, are the lines I still remember. “The founder of the feast indeed!”

After we performed Scrooge, we had 2 more plays. For these, I was Mr. Huebert’s Student Director, helping with all of the rehearsals. It wasn’t until then that I realized that “rehearsal” wasn’t pronounced “reversal.”

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Treasures from my South Africa Box (1982-83)

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

I always intended to make a scrap book of my South Africa Mission treasures and memories. Instead, I kept things in a box, a box that I opened today. Here’s what I found. Above are all of my favorite South African foods and treats.

In Afrikaans, Popcorn is called jumping corn. Below are my very favorite treats: shortbread and white grape juice.

Another favorite were the cartons of fruit drinks. My favorite was boysenberry.

We took malaria pills every week.

The last area I lived in was Vishoek, or Fish Hoek, in the Cape. I purchased this beautiful woven wall hanging there before I left for home. It beautifully captures my love for the African villages where I worked.

Here is the gallery where I bought it:

Here are some Zulu words I learned:

A fun Missionary Poem/Rap:

From Alan & Leigh, who were baptized 26 December 1982:

This was the first time our dear Black members from Kwa Mashu and Indian members from Chatsworth and Phoenix attended a Stake Conference in Durban.

I sent these pics from the Stake Conference to Khumbulani Desmond Mdletsche when I found this program. He was a Deacon or Teacher when I served in Kwa Mashu. He has since become a great leader in South Africa.

All these memories make me so happy!

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The Keo Nakama Invitational Swim Meet in Hawaii, 1975

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ann Laemmlen Lewis

Today I found my Mom’s scrapbook of our trip to Hawaii in 1975. I was swimming for State Center Swim Club and a small group from our team went there to compete. It was my first time visiting Hawaii, so it was a pretty big deal.

The night before we left, most of the other kids went to the theater in Fresno to see the newly released movie, JAWS. The next day, after our arrival, we had an hour or so at Waikiki Beach. Not one of my friends who had seen the movie touched the water. I figured if that’s what that movie did to swimmers, I didn’t want to see it, and I never have!

Here is how my Mom captured the memories of this very fun trip:

My coach, Tom Tyner, is on the left in this photo. I’m sad I don’t have his face in the photo. Next to him are my best friend’s parents, the Sieberts. I’m sitting on the ledge on the right.